David Speranza

Hard Enough to Maim

by David Speranza

CURTAIN UP on a modestly sized, modestly furnished LIVING ROOM.

EDWARD, a man in his forties or fifties, sits in the near-darkened room watching television and eating potato chips.  ALICE, around the same age, enters behind him, on her way to the sink and a glass of water.  She is dressed for bed.

ALICE:    What are you doing here?  I thought you were staying at Susie’s tonight.

EDWARD:    Nah.  Me and Susie broke up.

Alice finishes pouring her water and takes her glass to the living room.

ALICE:    What happened this time?

EDWARD:    She asked me if there was anything I didn’t like about her.

ALICE:    Uh-oh.

EDWARD:    She said to be absolutely honest.

ALICE:    (goes to sit)  I’m afraid to ask...

EDWARD:    So I told her she was too clingy and naggy and that I didn’t need another mom.  Oh, and that she was gettin’ fat.

ALICE:    Edward!  You know women don’t mean it when they ask you to be honest.

EDWARD:    Don’t they?

ALICE:    Of course not.  All that means is they want you to tell them exactly the opposite of what they don’t want to hear.

EDWARD:    That so?

ALICE:    You know it is.

- full text available upon request